Friends since third grade, Jill and Laura do almost everything together.They play guitar and go shopping together, run on the same cross-country team and go to the same youth group.Someone who leaves a friendship because she's found another person she likes better is someone you'd be better off without in the long run.People who experience this kind of betrayal feel sorry for themselves and try to control and manipulate the lost friend to come back, only find that they ultimately lose respect in the eyes of their former friend.To help your old friends feel secure and less threatened by a new friend, reassure them that they are still important to you. Be careful not to exclude either your new friend or your old friends.
If making great friends is your goal as well, consider these actions: When Val told her best friend, Marie, that she was interested in a guy named Travis, she made Marie promise not to tell anyone. But as Val entered her homeroom the next day, a guy in the back row shouted, "Hey, Travis, your future wife just walked in the door." After that, the teasing was nonstop. All of us have experienced the pain of being stabbed in the back by someone we thought was a friend."I feel plain, unlikable and lonely," despairs Lisa, a bright teenager from a loving home."It seems nobody wants to be my friend — or at least my really good friend. " Like Lisa, many of us experience loneliness, some more than others. Or maybe it's just that you're lonely more often than you'd like to be. Or at least one or two very special friends you can count on.We take a safer approach and wait for others to befriend us.But if we want friends, we've got to get beyond this. I desperately wanted friends but did not know how to get them. I started connecting with others who felt as I did.